Taking back my life

Hey friends!

I posted awhile back about my battle to get off of some medication that was making me very sick.  I am still battling.  Depression is a real bitch.  A spiral really.  It's hard to make myself do anything, including things that I know will help me feel good and then because I don't do them I feel worse.  UGH.  Lately it has been particularly difficult and I have rarely even gone in my studio - which all of you know is CRAZY.  Not only that but I don't even wake up early enough to get in there anymore.  Is anyone here who remembers the days when I got up at 3:30am every single day???  Depression doesn't make sense either.  I have a great life, a sweet daughter, an awesome hubby - the first time EVER that I have had security and stability.  But it doesn't matter because depression isn't about feeling bad about something bad that's happening :P BUT I have GOT to shake this.  I have GOT to pull myself together.  I WILL beat this just like I did before.  I have never been one to lay down and give up.  I have had a rough life and overcome some pretty tremendous odds on a number of occasions - I can't get lazy about things now!  Hell I may even start another blog about it - not about depression cuz that would be...well, depressing!  hahahh!  But maybe one about all of the positive things I can do to pick myself up and take back my life.  I think I got lazy and it ends here!  So look for that to begin soon - I will let y'all know here in case any of you want to hop on over.  (Does anyone even read this blog anymore???)

Before I move on I also want to say my hubby is a SAINT for sticking with me through this.  I know I am no picnic right now!  Lord he puts up with alot!

I have been feeling stuck, unmotivated and un-artistic lately.  I decided that needed to stop and despite not having the money for it really I took the plunge and signed up for one of the online art classes that has been on my list for awhile (and boy is it a long list!)  I adore the whimsical fun look of artwork by Juliette Crane and began her Backgrounds and Layers workshop.  It was a bit outside of my comfort zone but I dove in anyway and it got me using a few things I don't use enough AND doing some drawing which I also struggle with!

Of course - being in my current state I hated both of my first pieces.  But I showed them to my buddy Suzanne and then posted them in the workshop group and gt a little encouragement so I am sharing them here after all and chalking it up to my questionable mental state!  tee hee!

 

 OF COURSE there's a cat!  I love the free, whimsical style of this drawing though contrary to what it sounds like free and whimsical can be a bit of struggle.  Pezza however, sat down and drew the MOST adorable whimsical owl when I was drawing - I was quite impressed.  I said How do you know how to do that so well?  she says You taught me.  Hmmmmmm....then why can't I do it as well?  Probably because I am not 6 anymore!  We'll have to take a look at her owl in another post.

And then because I am jonesing for Spring and it was part of the lesson - a happy little flower.

 

The backgrounds are a mess of acrylic paints, water soluble oil pastels, stencils, sprays, tissue paper, book pages, inktense pencils and even some chunky Art Institute Glitter!  That's ALOT of layers of ALOT of stuff and, as usual, my fabulous Stillman & Birn Beta series art journal held up under pressure!  I think perhaps I shall do more...though I may need a larger size paper to work on!  The new Stillman & Birn Zeta series is available now...waiting for it to show up at Dick Blick!