I posted awhile back about my battle to get off of some medication that was making me very sick. I am still battling. Depression is a real bitch. A spiral really. It's hard to make myself do anything, including things that I know will help me feel good and then because I don't do them I feel worse. UGH. Lately it has been particularly difficult and I have rarely even gone in my studio - which all of you know is CRAZY. Not only that but I don't even wake up early enough to get in there anymore. Is anyone here who remembers the days when I got up at 3:30am every single day??? Depression doesn't make sense either. I have a great life, a sweet daughter, an awesome hubby - the first time EVER that I have had security and stability. But it doesn't matter because depression isn't about feeling bad about something bad that's happening :P BUT I have GOT to shake this. I have GOT to pull myself together. I WILL beat this just like I did before. I have never been one to lay down and give up. I have had a rough life and overcome some pretty tremendous odds on a number of occasions - I can't get lazy about things now! Hell I may even start another blog about it - not about depression cuz that would be...well, depressing! hahahh! But maybe one about all of the positive things I can do to pick myself up and take back my life. I think I got lazy and it ends here! So look for that to begin soon - I will let y'all know here in case any of you want to hop on over. (Does anyone even read this blog anymore???)
Before I move on I also want to say my hubby is a SAINT for sticking with me through this. I know I am no picnic right now! Lord he puts up with alot!
I have been feeling stuck, unmotivated and un-artistic lately. I decided that needed to stop and despite not having the money for it really I took the plunge and signed up for one of the online art classes that has been on my list for awhile (and boy is it a long list!) I adore the whimsical fun look of artwork by Juliette Crane and began her Backgrounds and Layers workshop. It was a bit outside of my comfort zone but I dove in anyway and it got me using a few things I don't use enough AND doing some drawing which I also struggle with!
Of course - being in my current state I hated both of my first pieces. But I showed them to my buddy Suzanne and then posted them in the workshop group and gt a little encouragement so I am sharing them here after all and chalking it up to my questionable mental state! tee hee!
And then because I am jonesing for Spring and it was part of the lesson - a happy little flower.